If this were my first pregnancy the title would be, “Don’t Touch the Bump.” Last year I was always so offended when people thought they could just come up and touch my belly. I mean, I’m not going around to people touching their bellies. What makes them think that’s okay?! If I weren’t pregnant, and someone just decided to touch my belly, I’d probably punch them in the face. There is something about growing a baby that makes your belly seem like a bulls eye. It attracts everything and everyone. It got to the point where I would cross my arms whenever I got up from my desk in order to ward off people from the belly.
Now, friends and family are different. If you know me and want to touch, talk to, or just love my bump–go ahead. It’s the stranger at the grocery store or the waitress at the restaurant with whom I take issue! One time Drew and I were out for dinner, and this huge group of senior citizens came up, and ALL of them just had to touch the belly. I mean what am I going to say to a bunch of old ladies?! Back off the belly? This is the highlight of their day, or at least that’s how they acted.
This pregnancy is different. I could care less if someone cops a feel on the bump. This probably has to do with the fact that during labor you quickly learn that your body is no longer your own. It’s not your private personal property. You go into the delivery room, and all of sudden, people start going down south like they own your girlie parts! What is that?! When Noah was on his way into this world, I must have had at least ten people–between my husband, doula, midwife, OB, NICU doctor, not to mention the team of nurses–staring at my bare naked body, waiting for a baby to come out between my legs. Talk about violation.
If you are breastfeeding you will, all of a sudden, find yourself a topless wonder with porn star size boobs. You have the lactation consultant coming in and manhandling your boobs. Then you come home, and you have your baby attached to you every two hours for about the next year or so, depending on how long you nurse for. This is when your breastacles will start their decline. Plus, babies like to be skin to skin, so get ready to be topless with your little one for awhile.
So yeah, during this pregnancy I have a VERY different view of my body. If someone comes up and touches the belly it barely phases me. With that being said, all other body parts are still off limits!